Warning! Pun Ahead!

Touched By An Anglerfish

Serak the Preparer Wisely Remained In The Kitchen...

Return Of A Classic

And the Old School Version!

Because "Affirmative Q. Affirmative" Would Be Silly

Don't Talk To Me About That Marley Dog. You Think He's The Worst, Well You're Thinking Wrong!

For Christmas this year I got Diablo the Devil Dog (pictured above) one of those giant rawhide bones. We're talking two feet long, five or six pounds. So, she receives her present in the kitchen, and I sit down for breakfast, never imagining, in my wildest dreams, that she would snatch the thing up in her mouth and go racing through the house with it. BANG! SMASH! BAM!

The Dog Whisperer said if you take them for long walks and make them wear weighted backpacks, it'll tire them out and calm them down.

It only makes her stronger!

(And now I have "Mean, Green Mother From Outer Space" stuck in my head. Bah, Humbug indeed!)

And The Christmas Bells That Ring There Are The Clanging Chimes Of Doom

Not Just Enemies

Super Enemies!

Technically, all this stuff is my birthday loot, rather than Christmas, but hey, new toys is new toys! For Christmas, I got a sweater. And some cash. Which I will use to buy more toys.

I don't have a problem. I can quit any time I want!

O Tannenbaum!

Hauling All That Swag To The Top Of Mt. Crumpet Didn't Help

He'll Save Every One Of Us!

A Holiday Classic

Too Soon?

Lord, I apologize fer that!

Please be with the starvin' pygmies in Africa...

Seriously, though, there was something hella creepy about the way that kid reveled in the spotlight after her dad's death.

In Which I Get Sidetracked

If you can get past the weird Gerry Anderson Supermarionation Tribute - style character designs, Clone Wars is actually a pretty cool show. Sadly, it won't be airing new episodes again until January.

Y'know, between the thought of a manger scene being set up in the town square or whatever, and my television viewing habits getting totally disrupted for a month, I think I'd be less chuffed about the manger.

I mean, who the hell knows where their "town square" even is, anymore, anyway?

Actually, I do know where the "town square" equivalent is here in Springfield, as it's been in the news that somebody stole a sign put up by a local atheist group as counterbalance to any and all religious displays. Wow. A piece of paper taped to a dry erase board. That'll lift the scales off the eyes of the faithful. Couldn't they at least have sprung for a statue of Madalyn Murray O'Hair or something?

At this rate, I'm beginning to have my doubts that the Sea Otters will ever take over at all! Science H. Logic!

That was a great episode of South Park. Especially the whole "Buck Rogers" bit with Cartman.

Then again, that opening sequence was probably the best thing in the Buck Rogers TV series, itself.

The best thing in Every. Single. Episode.

That, and Erin Grey in those satiny/spandexy outfits.

I'd like to "Roger Roger" her, if you know what I mean!

And thus it all comes back to Clone Wars.

It Knows Where You've Been!

I always thought the lyrics went

He'd let us in/

Ask where we'd been

But it turns out they're actually

Knows where we've been

Which is really kind of creepy when you think about it.

Remember The Batusi?

As if the Batusi weren't enough on its own, it actually appeared in an episode where King Tut was the villain. Whatever the hell that show was, that episode was like the pure, uncut version of it!

DC announced recently that King Tut will make his first ever official in-canon appearance in a Batman comic soon. I can only assume, given the direction of the company, that he murders children and rapes somebody's cat.

Astromechs Be Different Than Protocol Droids

No gratuitous Red Hulk shout-out on Heroes last night.

I guess that'll show me!

Settling In

So the rebuilding after AOHell dumped it's FTP service continues. Of course, I kind of wish now that I'd been more on the ball back in October so I could have left a message on the old site for the people who visited regularly.

(and there were a surprising number... or maybe just one guy who reeealy thought I was funny.)

But, hey, they found that place, buried in the depths AOL Hometown. I'm sure sooner or later I'll have an audience of tens again.

Anyways, along with the new address and new layout, the format will probably be a little different as well. Instead of a "Ten-and-Done" (and then back to sleep for a couple of weeks) I'm meaning to post one gag daily. Maybe even try different styles for different days of the week.

Who knows? I might even, y'know, Blog n' stuff. I mean, just how long can the world stand being denied the knowledge of my innermost thoughts on... I dunno... what kind of cheese I like.
It's Swiss. Spoilers!

Oh, and if it's Monday that must mean Heroes is on tonight, and that means:

(Okay, so the sound and picture quality are poo. It's my very first video!)

Beans, O Beans!

Beans, O Beans!

They taste Good In Your Mouth.

But... Watch Out!

When Beans Come Out Down South!

Mozart (Attributed).

Meh. It's a start.